Designs by Garrison for Babies

Designs by Garrison for Babies My first CafePress Affiliate Sale came from this store. I made 2 dollars off a bib she designed. I have no Idea how the customer came from my store to hers (probably by the market place) but it just shows that the program is starting to work. (I was hopping it would have been through my TShirtPixels Site but I am sure my first sale from there will be soon) I checked the store Out is really nicely done I have added them to TShirtPixels.

Never try to Catch a falling

Cat

Prawn

Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one called Justin and the other called Christian.

Prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that patrolled the area. Finally, one day during a tropical storm, Justin said to Christian, "I'm bored and frustrated at being a prawn, I wish I was a shark - and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten..."

As Justin had his mind firmly on becoming a predator, a flash of lightning hits the water and lo and behold, Justin turns into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately swims away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.

Time went on, and Justin found himself becoming bored and lonely as a shark. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them, Justin hardly realising that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.

During the next tropical storm, Justin figures that the same lightning force could change him back into a prawn. Lightning never strikes twice except in stories like these, but while he was thinking of being a prawn again, a flash of lightning strikes the water next to Justin and lo and behold, he turns back into a prawn. With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swims back to his friends and buys them all a cocktail. (The punch line does not involve a prawn cocktail - it's much worse!).

Looking around the gathering at the reef, he looks for his old pal. "Where's Christian?" he asked. "He's at home, distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy and became a shark" came the reply.

Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he sets off to Christian's house. As he opens the coral gate, the memories come flooding back. He bangs on the door and shouts "It's me, Justin, your old friend. Come out and see me again!"

Christian replies, "No way man. You'll eat me. You're a shark; the enemy. I will not be tricked."

Justin cries back, "No I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed...
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... I'm a prawn again Christian!"

some puns

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."
8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
10. DejaMoo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
12. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
13. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
14. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!".
15. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly, it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
16. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why,"
they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting by an open foyer."
17. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
18. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him. (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)..... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
19. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did.

12 Gnomes Complete

Well I finally finished all the Gnomes after 4 months that is about 3 gnomes a month. I will probably redo the Gnome Gnites some day soon. (I have had one return on it so the picture probably doesn't come out very good.) The 2007 calendar will be out Early September so I am excited about that. I may decide to do another 12 gnomes next year but I am not sure. I may focus on something else instead.

O lny srmat poelpe can raed tihs.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,

it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

Dancing with no music

Let’s imagine that you want to learn to dance. Being the rational, cerebral person you are, you go to a bookstore and buy a book on dancing. You take the book home and get to work.

Finally, you think you’ve got it, and you invite your wife to come in and watch. You hold the book open and follow the instructions step by step. You even read the words aloud so she’ll know that you’ve done your homework. “Lean with your right shoulder,” and so you lean. “Now step with your right foot,” and so you step. “Turn slowly to the left,” and so you do.

You continue to read, then dance, read, then dance, until the dance is completed. You plop exhausted on the couch, look at your wife, and proclaim, “I executed it perfectly.”

“You executed it, all right,” she sighs. “You killed it.”

“What?”

“You forgot the most important part. Where is the music?”

Music?

You never thought about music. You remembered the book. You learned the rules. You laid out the pattern. But you forgot the music.

“Do it again,” she says, putting in a CD. “This time, don’t worry about the steps; just follow the music.”

She extends her hand and the music begins. The next thing you know, you are dancing-and you don’t even have the book.

We Christians are prone to follow the book while ignoring the music. We master the doctrine, outline the chapters, memorize the dispensations, debate the rules, and stiffly step down the dance floor of life with no music in our hearts. We measure each step, calibrate each turn, and flop into bed each night exhausted from another day of dancing by the book.

Dancing with no music is tough stuff.

“Let God have you, and let God love you-and don’t be surprised if your heart begins to hear music you’ve never heard and your feet learn to dance as never before.”

From Max Lucado’s weekly email devotional. From “A Gentle Thunder: Hearing God Through the Storm,” © 1995, Max Lucado

CafeGrabber Demo

So there is this company that has made a real cool product to help out CafePress store owners in making a Froogle Feed (something I am just learning about) anyway they are a brand new company so they wanted to make a Demonstration of how the program worked they Invited ME and have used my store ( Gethsemene Rose Gifts and created a demonstration Movie the movie called CafeGrabber Demo has now been created The product is awesome (the sent me the file created by the program and I uploaded it to froogle in just a few minutes this is one great program and also some also Press for ME and my store what a win win situation. God is Good. So check out the movie. Buy the program (if you are a cafepress store owner if you aren't then you should become one go to my store first and become one then buy the CafeGrabber) and lets sell some shirts

Just in case you thought I had quit

I am still biking. The route is getting easier I can do one lap (3.3 miles) now the final half mile is up a hill and it is pretty steep it really kicks my but. I still make it up (usually at the lowest gear and Chris is at the top waiting patiently for me) I have tried doing a second lap and did fine untill I hit the hill for the second time. I had to take one break (was afraid I was going to pass out) but I made it to the top (then promptly collapsed and had to wait a few minutes before I could get back on the bike) Oh I finally got a helmet too that makes a big difference I am more confident going down hills and the helmet redirects air around my head keeping me cooler it also has a sweat band and that is NICE. I can see better now. Anyway I will keep you up to date as I get better.

Christian Cafe

Smiles from the Bible...

Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?
A. Ruthless.

Q. What do they call pastors in Germany?
A. German Shepherds.

Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.

Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.

Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan . The banks were always overflowing.

Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.

Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
A. Joshua, son of Nun.

Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark?
A. Because Noah was standing on the deck. (Groan...)

PS...
Did you know it's a sin for a woman to make coffee?

Yup, it's in the Bible. It says. . . "He-brews"


KEEP SMILING!!!! GOD LOVES YOU BUNCHES AND BUNCHES!!!!